Soliloquy

Have not updated for some time. I’m having one of those uninspired moments again. Nonetheless, this is one of the songs I wrote late last year for Christophe. Despite it being sung by one of the less desirable characters before his suicide, this piece is quite a personal favourite of mine. We can’t always keep the good songs for the good guys, huh?

---

Soliloquy
(Christophe)

When my tears have somehow dried,
I wish I had not denied,
All the pain that makes me feel.
All the love I never knew,
Hid in shadows of my past.
Fading to dust.

Turn the tide that’s in my heart,
Bring me to a brand new start.
Calm the fear that’s deep within,
So a new life can begin.
Not discover what I lost,
And bear the cost.

I must let go,
All the good times and memories that I’ve cast behind.
I must not show,
All the fresh wounds and feelings that linger in my mind.

I still clearly hear your voice,
It’s not easy to forget.
Yet I know I’ve made my choice,
I must try not to regret.
For I know it’s best this way,
If I ask you not to stay…

Dawn, we’ve come so far,
To this very end.
I just somehow pray,
That you’ll understand,
It is hard for me to go.

Moments that we shared,
Where it all began,
Feelings that emerged,
Which I didn’t plan,
These will stay with me, I know.

Like You

I don’t have many songs for Young Jacques and Young Chevalier. But this is one of them.

---

Like You
(Young Jacques)

Twelve incredibly long years,
Look how time has flown.
You raised me through blood sweat, tears,
You watched me as I’ve grown.

You’re more than a nanny,
A comforter, friend,
You make things hale and dandy,
You always understand.

If I could ask for one gift,
That God could send to me,
I know what I would ask for,
As this I clearly see.

He has given me the one gift,
That I would ever need.

A nanny like you,
Who makes me succeed,
You help guide me through,
The path I should heed.

The bond that we share,
Is more than words convey.
I asked God this prayer,
He answers everyday.

With a gift that is true,
A nanny like you.

With You As A Friend

This song has been some years in the making. While I had settled on the chorus since 2002, the tunes for the main verses and bridge came about only more recently. Admittably, I find it the most challenging to write melodies for male duets because I can never seem to get the “feel” right. But having finished “With You As A Friend”, hopefully the next one doesn’t take as long! :) 

---

With You As A Friend
(Jacques and John)

Jacques:
Steadfast and steady, you have been ready,
To offer me your hand.
Picking me up whenever I’m somehow
Stuck deep within quicksand.
When I’m neglected, when I’m dejected,
Left on my own to stand.
When the dust settles, you are still here my friend.

John:
Slowly but surely, I have been purely,
Hoping I’ll understand.
Friendship like ours, through spaces and places,
That will always transcend.
You are the brother, just like no other,
Who’ll be there to the end.
Yet through it all, you have been my one true friend.

John:
When all decried me,
Jacques:
When they denied me,
Both:
Then I had to pretend.
John:
That all was well,
Jacques:
Yet I was in hell,
Both:
With hatred that was not planned.
Then I met you,
And you helped me get through,
Faults that I could not mend.
All things have changed, since I’ve found you as a friend.

John:
With you as a friend,
I will not break, I will not bend.
Jacques:
With you as a friend,
My problems I can apprehend.
John:
With you as a friend,
No burden I cannot withstand.
Both:
With you as a friend.

Jacques:
When my vision’s dark and hazy,
When the lights go out.
John:
When things round me seem so crazy,
When I’m filled with doubt.

Jacques:
You appeared, the things I feared,
Just somehow swept away.
John:
You, my friend, can understand,
The thoughts I don’t relay.
Jacques:
The words that I don’t say…

John:
For you as a friend,
I’ll lay my life down to defend.
Jacques:
With you as a friend,
Someone on whom I can depend.
Both:
With you as a friend,
No need for me to comprehend,
How I found a friend.
With you as a friend.
With you as my friend.
To the end.

Don’t Give In / With You As A Friend (Reprise)

There’s no significantly new melody in this piece. It’s a “transition” song meant to advance the plot and merely takes its melody from 2 other songs – Caron’s “Don’t Give In” and Jacques and John’s “With You As A Friend”. The full versions of both pieces haven’t been completed, although Caron provides a refrain in Jacques’ “A Million Pictures“.

---

Don’t Give In / With You As A Friend (Reprise)
(Dawn and Jacques)

Dawn:
Don’t give in to the harshest light of day,
Don’t give in, for we’ll always find a way,
Don’t give in, I am sure there’ll come the time
The truth will appear,
We’ll clear him of this crime.

Jacques:
Don’t give in? How can I when hope is far?
Don’t give in? But the proofs stay where they are.
Don’t give in? Yet all things remain the same.
Our hopes disappear,
We’ll never clear his name.

Dawn:
Don’t give in, even when the journey’s long,
Jacques:
Even when all things stay wrong,
Dawn:
Don’t give in, I will help you go along.
Jacques:
Why must their pain still prolong?
Dawn:
Don’t give in, I’ll be here to keep you strong,
We must have some faith,
For then can we be brave.

Jacques:
With you as a friend,
I will not break, I will not bend.
With you as a friend,
This bond I could have never planned.

Dawn:
With you as a friend,
The truth I finally understand.
With you as a friend.

Jacques:
With you as a friend.
Dawn:
With you as a friend.
Jacques:
With you as a friend.
Dawn:
With you as a friend.

Both:
To the end. 

It’s Alright

I’m fairly satisfied with this initial draft, although I know there will probably be many revisions. “It’s Alright” arose in Vegas earlier this year when I was navigating the main street past individuals who were trying to pass me cards and flyers. The normal refrain was “it’s alright” and the melody flowed quite naturally from there.

“It’s Alright” is a duet sung by Christine and Jacques and has different meanings for the both of them. While Christine comes to terms with Chevalier being in prison, Jacques has to accept the fact that his love for Christine will never be reciprocated.

---

It’s Alright
(Christine and Jacques)

Christine:
It’s alright, it’s okay,
I don’t need to convey.
Let me say, if I may,
Your fears you can allay,
I am strong,
I can face up to the storm.
You are wrong,
I will show,
Things can settle to a norm.

Jacques:
It’s alright? It’s okay?
That’s what you want to say,
Yet your eyes, they betray,
The tears you won’t display.
You must feel,
Or you will not tide this through.
Don’t conceal,
Do not fear,
I will always be with you.

Christine:
It’s so easy to relinquish,
Jacques:
It’s quite easy to distinguish,
Christine:
It’s so easy to forget.
Jacques:
What is fiction from the fact.
When it comes to what is deep within,
Christine:
I must cast away these feelings,
Jacques:
There’s no middle ground between.

Christine:
It’s not easy to recover,
Jacques:
It’s not easy to discover,
Christine:
From love that’s not meant to be.
Jacques:
Feelings that cannot be free.
Both:
At this point where I can now realise,
The one way for me to move on,
Christine (together):
Is to give up this disguise.
Jacques (together):
Is to keep up this disguise.

Jacques:
She is everything for which I live for,
Yet it’s not my place now to confess.
Clear my vision so that I can ignore,
Feelings that I know I can’t express,
Address!

Christine:
For a love that’s doomed for failure,
Jacques:
For this love that seemed so pure,
Christine:
There’s no need now to repress,
Jacques:
No need for me to profess,
Both:
Feelings that have shaped the way I am,
They will always be a part of me.
It’s alright that I have them.

Christine:
Grant me solace now or never,
Jacques:
Tide me through my endeavour,
Christine:
So that I can journey on,
Jacques:
Bring me to a brand new dawn,
Both:
How can I go through this life alone?
Jacques,
Nothing more that I should tinkle,
Christine:
Seeds of love that once were sown.
Jacques:
Pain within will somewhat lingers…
Christine:
…more than I could have known.

Jacques:
It’s alright.
Christine:
It’s alright?
Jacques:
It’s alright?
Christine:
It’s alright.
Jacques:
It’s alright.
Christine:
It’s alright.

Both:
It’s alright.

Calm The Waves

I’m still writing my latest piece “It’s Alright” which has unfortunately hit a road-block in one stanza. In the meantime, I’m putting up another song which I wrote many years back. Chevalier sings this with his father, Pierre, in jail.

---

Calm The Waves
(Chevalier and Pierre)

Chevalier:
Calm the waves,
And let us be strong.
Free the slaves
For they are not wrong.
And bring us home,
The place where we belong.
Release us all.
It’s not our call.

We toil and sweat out in the light,
And darkness reigns now in the night.
At times we cry out “Is this right?”
Someone replies,
But gives us lies.
Our purpose’s not to meet our demise.

Pierre:
Calm the waves?
Free the slaves?
Innocent?
Or guilty all along?
How can I dispel away my guilt?
Reform again what once was built?

Chevalier:
Papa?
Pierre:
My son…
Chevalier:
Can you forgive,
The things that I have done?

Pierre:
My son,
It is
Through you I live
I’ve found where peace exists.

What are you doing here?
Your future was shining bright.
Everything seemed so clear,
Why did you shun the light?

Chevalier:
Someone has framed me,
Of some dastardly crime.
And the world blamed me,
Sent me to serve my time.
In this place.
Without a trace.

Both:
Calm the waves and give us hope,
To help us now to cope.
Chevalier:
With all the pain,
Pierre:
To once regain,
Chevalier:
I can’t sustain.
Pierre:
What’s lost in vain.
Both:
And leave behind what’s called our graves.

Both:
Calm the waves and lead us home,
The place where we can roam.
Pierre:
To disappear,
Chevalier:
Away from here.
Both:
Discover what the future paves.

Chevalier:
Can this be fate?
That we must wait?
If only we can calm the waves.

A Million Pictures

Most songs are long-drawn and can take some time to complete. ”A Million Pictures” is one rare exception. Written on a bus journey home in London in 2002, it tells of Jacques’ “million pictures” which remind him of his historical baggage. He eventually realises that the million pictures are the same ones that will motivate him to go the further distance. 

---

A Million Pictures
(Jacques and Caron)

Jacques:
A million pictures in my mind,
A million dreams I left behind,
A million tales of youth untold,
Unfounded hopes that I still hold.

A million pictures of the time,
Where life and dreams just seemed in rhyme.
A whole new world waiting to start,
All that remains is in my heart.

A million pictures from my past,
Appear from time but do not last.
They tell me of the youth I lost,
Remind me of the wretched cost,
Of growing up to face this age,
The story flies from page to page.

To see the world in its true state,
With all its anger, hurt and hate.
Without a proper chance to grow,
And live the life I want to know.

Where is my youth?
Gone with the rain,
Why is it something that I can’t regain?

Why does the truth,
Heighten my pain,
Days turn to night and yet my tears remain.

I cry out for the passage,
Lead me safely through the storm,
And yet the only message,
Leaves me yearning for the warm.

Faced with abject scorn, disdain,
Far from all that I revere,
I need strength now to remain.
Without her here,
There’s nothing I hold dear.

Caron (echo):
Don’t give in, even though the journey’s rough.
Don’t give in, even when all things seem tough.
Don’t give in, you alone are just enough,
Always persevere
Your path will be made clear.

Jacques:
A million picture that I thought,
Was somehow just ephemeral
The million pictures that I brought,
Was always to be eternal.

A million pictures I recall,
These million pictures give me all
The strength I have been searching for.

A million pictures,
I thought was long gone.
These million pictures,
That help me go on!

All I Ever See

All I Ever See
(Jacques)

The wheels are set in motion,
I love her with devotion.
For with the rose i send to her,
I hope she knows i hold her dear.
She is the one i’ll always love
I’ll always be there.
I’ll always be near.

The wheels are set in motion
But why this strange emotion?
A beast unworthy of that face,
The least i should know is my place,
But Christine’s all i ever see
Is this only just
A long hopeless chase?

She’s all I ever see,
In my dreams she’s there with me
In my darkest of hours,
She’s my one shining light
Although things may go wrong,
She makes all things seem right.

She’s everything to me,
All I ever see is she,
In the coldest of days,
Her smile warms the still air,
Of the people I’ve met,
No one else can compare.

A simple rose to show the love,
That’s deep within my soul.
A simple rose to tell her the
Truth she alone must know

At times i hide
Yet her visage clings
These feelings torment me,
The fears subside
With the joy she brings
She’s all I ever see!

She’s all I ever see,
Only she can set me free!
Without her I am lost,
Pain stays eternally,
But with her I am found,
She completes the man I’ll be.

She’s all that I see.
All I ever see.

Attracted Hearts

Another duet, this time by Chevalier and Christine.

---

Attracted Hearts
(Chevalier and Christine)

Chevalier:
I see her there standing,
And then she slowly smiles.
Our chance encounter ending,
She seems a thousand miles
Away from me,
In my fantasy.

Christine :
I see him there standing,
A figure of repose,
My heartbeats never ending,
I don’t know why I froze,
Then he disappeared,
Without a word.

Chevalier:
She is all I see,
Somehow my heart’s attracted.
She’s my destiny!
My future’s now affected,
By the beauty of her face,
Which nothing can replace.
Will I see her once again,
This time I won’t refrain.

Christine:
He is all I need,
To touch this heart attracted.
In true love I heed,
So much I have expected,
Of the man who’ll hold me close,
My thoughts, my dreams he knows.
All I ask is one more chance,
To catch more than just one glance.

Chevalier:
I’ll search the earth, I’ll comb the land,
My heart will be my guide.

Christine:
I’ll wait for him, until the end,
To be his one true bride.

Both:
Attracted hearts
Will draw us near
The brand new starts
Begin from here.
Of you and I
And our attracted hearts.

Everyday

Written in 2003, “Everyday” is sung by Pierre and Caron – the parents of Jacques. Both sing it from different locations (Pierre is in jail for his crimes). Although starting from different premises, it concludes with a reaffirmation of their love for each other.

---

Everyday
(Pierre and Caron)

Pierre:
Everyday, I think of all the actions of my past,
Everyday, I wonder how long here I will last,
Everyday, I only see,
All this pain and agony,
If only she had changed my destiny.  

Caron:
Everyday, I wish he didn’t come into my life
Everyday, I regret the day I chose to be his wife,
Everyday, I only see,
Years of pain and misery.
But why must this love stay to torment me…

Pierre:
All this time I try to ease the pain.
Caron:
Try to ease my pain.

Pierre:
Yet the pain and guilt drive me insane.
Caron:
The tears still remain.

Pierre:
Remorse, sorrows, eat me from within.
Caron:
Help me to begin.

Pierre:
No tomorrows, if she’s not with me.
Caron:
A new life that’s free.

Pierre:
Everyday without her by my side,
Caron:
Every day I try to hide.
Pierre:
Hurts me more than I can say.
Caron:
I think of him everyday.
Pierre:
If I could take back the

Pierre (together):
Words I said,
Caron (together):
Price I paid…
Pierre (together):
The tears she shed,
Caron (together):
Is years I had.
Pierre:
I’ll redo,
Caron:
Yet all I feel,
Pierre (together):
This painful dream.
Caron (together):
Is love for him.
Pierre:
At last redeem!

Caron:
Everyday, I wonder if I
Caron (together):
Made the correct choice.
Pierre (together):
I still hear her voice.
Caron:
Everyday, I understand I
Caron (together):
Could not have both boys.
Pierre (together):
That gives simple joys.

Pierre (together):
Everyday I think of her, even though she’s far away.
Caron (together):
Everyday I think of him, even though he’s far away.

Pierre:
Everyday, she’s all that I live for.
Caron:
Everyday I miss him more and more.

Pierre (together):
My heart belongs to her everyday.
Caron (together):
My heart belongs to him everyday.